‘Sometimes I feel like I am fine on my own’
‘1500 miles from home’
The first number that my mp3 player choose is ‘crazy English summer’, from the artist Faithless.
‘The grass is greener without pain.’
‘I think that I am changing but I am still the same.’
‘Sometimes I think I am glad to be free’
‘Sometimes I still want your arms around me.’
I sit down on a stone in the river that does make me think about the river with living water, the Bible writes about. It is almost a month ago that dad dropped me at a gasoline-station at the side of the A2, from where I would leave – to end up here, in the middle of Siberia. The river of living water is sometimes frozen in winter. I know that home – what is home – will be the same. But here, nothing is the same. The world stands upside down. My thoughts are often still in the Netherlands. But more and more they focus on my travel. It is necessary. I am not choosing the most safe travel routes and methods. Eko-Zvenigorod is done in about three days. I will hitchhike back to Gorno Altaisk, where from I will prepare all documents to cross the border to North-West Mongolia. Exciting. Still I am afraid sometimes. But I see that I am just doing everything. And the fear disappears.
Dad.. He did not know what to say when he dropped me at the gasoline station. Me neither. What do you say when you leave for a year? ‘I am sorry?’, ‘I will be back’, like Schwarzenegger?’ I am also not sure if I told him that I love him. You see, my thoughts are at home again.
The sun is burning. I will go under water for a second, in this river with ‘living water’. Of course – naked.