I think about Grandma when I take a break, here at the blue water of a river in Macedonian Greece. She always talked about her far journey’s while she read her magazine ‘ Royals’ and felt asleep with the only sound remaining – the ticking clock. A feeling of love streams through me when I think about this valuable moments of my childhood. Her body lies already for over a year under a cold stone in a wooden frame.
Next step offline life. I stopped making video’s. For over two years I’ve searched for a way to tell at least a part of the story. But it tells to little. Moments that really matter, like this thoughts about grandma – I can’t film that. In conversations, it doesn’t feel good to start the camera. It feels like a break of trust after having great conversations. The hours of editing and the need for a big laptop to carry all the time are not making it more attractive. That’s how I can be more in the moment. To be with the guy that drove 10 km more while explaining the road for us in a language that I don’t understand. To talk with the Serbian lady of a hotel where I passed by, which I reminded her of her sun of my age so she gave me a free shower, lot’s of food and coffee for free. To be with you, when I am physically there. Slowly I am getting to the end of my Balkan trip, trying not to think about the winter.. Where will I be? I feel a bit stressed, but it is also a great feeling of leaving the unknown and knowing that there will be something. The moment that I finish this blog, I look out of the window in Belgrade and see that the leaves are starting to be brown. It is autumn, although still warm here. Tomorrow I want to hitchhike back to Vienna, where my bike is and try to cycle a bit more to the east before it will be winter. It is getting dark, my eyelids are closing themselves. I close my laptop and zzzz..